Chapter 1. The Apocalypse is a Personal Affair


When I was a boy I wandered the deciduous canopied forests of Northeast Ohio.  The impression of this natural environment first won my spirit then my mind, the religion I was taught was soon discarded as vibrationally wrong to what I knew felt right, then as I gained adulthood I spent four decades undoing the Catholicism I was taught as the “absolute truth”.

I can still remember the first time this greater spirit talked to me, my brother and I were trying to walk like Indians amongst the birch, tulip, oak, and maple trees interlaced between the last ice age strewn sandstone boulders.  While we tiptoed down a deer path, hoping to catch a glimpse of one, the Great Spirit told me directly to walk in a straight line one foot in front of another.  I did so and instructed my brother to walk purposefully with toes in line with the path.

It felt good to my soul that the great father was not only watching me but instructing me on how to behave as a proper Indian.  God was obviously pleased with my choice to be like a native. I learned to walk like an Indian in the creation, putting one foot purposely and delicately in front of another, keeping quiet so as to not disturb the other lifeforms.  Being quiet and observant allows one to take in the magnificent symphony of life.

Little did I know that my spiritual guidance from on high was going to create such discord in my upcoming future and put me at odds with my parents, family, culture, and nation state.  God of my experience was not matching the vicious god of my culture, the Jewish Bible god did not resonate with my experience.  So what was it going to be with me, what choice was I going to make, experiential spiritual knowledge or head truth?  I did both, oscillating between being employed in a culture gone mad in warfare and the peaceful path of a spiritual warrior.

Looking back at all the trauma of being raised in a strict religious household of fearful descendants of German and Irish immigrants I have to wonder why I stay duped for so long, I should of run away from my indoctrinational schooling as soon as I became a teenager, that would of reduced my parochial caused suffering.  My will and instinct should of taken me away from the brainwashing sooner, I should of chosen the red path much earlier.

Now I know, for an absolute fact, that the Jewish messiah named Jesus was complete and total fiction.  No man named Jesus ever existed, no god is going to judge us in this life or the next, that the entire construct was placed in my mind for political control not as spiritual salvation.   I know beyond all doubt that no one needs to be forgiven by god because the entire construct of salvation is a fiction of judgmental Jewish writers who created the storylines of Old and New Testaments in order to achieve political power by use of myth.

My own personal apocalypse, the final nail in my own personal Jesus coffin, came after I listened to Joseph Atwill describe how the Romans created a new sun savior man-god myth to convert messianic Jews to an acceptable style paganism of empire.  Christianity is state propaganda and the primary writer was Josephus, all the Gospel writer names also fictional avatars of the ruling class.  The Gospel writer names Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John are also part of the illusion.

Once you fully wrap your mind around the truth about Christianity, that Jesus is fictional character in a reworked sun god myth – the mooring is cut between the belief in guaranteed salvation and you have to face up to your existence being a temporary thing.  Afterlife or not, you are going to die and not exist at least not in the flesh.  Your eventual death is coming and you know there is no magical way to cheat your way out of your own personal apocalypse once Jesus is extricated from your mind.  Jesus is a way for your ego to survive in this life, whatever happens to “you” after death has nothing to do with the man-god myth.

But I already knew that Jesus was fiction long before I ever heard of Atwill or ‘Caesar’s Messiah’, because I had self realized that this god construct was impossible, the god of the Bible is not just bad literature, the god everyone was worshipping was an evil deity that should not be venerated for any reason.  God the father was false and so was the son, no god would have ever judged us in the first place nor would any god find it necessary to hang itself on a cross for our sins because of it’s judgmental personality.  The story is ridiculous and I question the validity of my culture for being duped by this salvation fable for so long.  Are humans really that dumb?

What I figured out for myself was that the primary cultural myth was a product of many dishonest or unthinking minds, Jesus was not going to save anyone in the next life since not only because he never existed as a god or prophet, but because the Jewish judgmental construct of reality was patently false.  Jesus was a magic trick of the priest in this life to get obedience of the slaves and keep them from murdering the the ruling elite.  Jesus was a creation of the wealthy ruling class.

The entire premise and story line of the Holy Bible is very bad fiction because of the effect that the belief has in modern society, we are waging wars based on the myth being true.  But what if the Holy Bible isn’t true, what if it is very bad literature that is creating the Apocalypse?  From the perspective outside of the myth, no god is propelling us toward a certain outcome, gods are our creation, we invent the gods and their personalities.  The gods are just like us even though they are without flesh or our animalistic desires.

The current Apocalypse in the Middle East is not some future event, and no one gets raptured out of their own end times creation.  No god is going to save us from our own folly.  No god cares what we do or what we choose to experience. We can blow ourselves to kingdom come and god isn’t going to be disturbed in the least.  There are millions, if not billions of planets.  If we terminate ourselves on this one it isn’t a big deal.  God never incarnates for any reason, no matter how bad we behave, even if we blow ourselves up in a nuclear war.

We are in the Apocalypse right now because we fear death and are trying to reconcile our relationship with our imagined god.  We are pretending to be in a war against the devil, we are mocking gods omnipotence by attempting to save souls by bombing those not saved by our Jesus god.  Our cultural myths concerning beating death with a mere belief system are getting us to act out the Apocalypse in the present.  Our egos are fully invested in what we’ve created and we won’t let go, we’ve told ourselves the myth for so long we will never admit that we made it up to beat our fear of death.


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